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Chapter 10

The doctor sighed, lifting a hand to brush away a few errant brown strands of hair from her forehead, “He’s stable, for now. Nickolas has suffered some very severe injuries-” She paused, looking into Kevin’s worried eyes, “We almost lost him in surgery.”

Kevin paled and leaned back in his chair, his gaze looking away. The doctor sat on the coffee table before them and continued, “Before I explain further, let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Ruth Foster. I’ve been treating Nickolas since he came in.” Dr. Foster looked at each of them in turn, her eyes quizzical as they lingered on AJ, “Nickolas sustained a nasty gash on the arm that needed stitches, as did a cut on the side of his head. The critical injury he suffered was the gunshot wound. The bullet traveled through his upper chest on the right, entering just below his collar bone. It broke a rib in two places and knicked a lung, causing a slow collapse and internal bleeding.”

Feeling her inquiring gaze, the three stunned Backstreet Boys looked up. Dr. Foster spoke, “I saw Nickolas had received a previous blow to the head, only yesterday from his records.”

Howie cleared his throat, his voice rough, “Yeah, they said he was fine though. Said he didn’t even have a concussion.”

Dr. Foster nodded and looked down briefly, “Yes, but this additional blow over such a short time was not beneficial. The head injury, blood loss, and internal damage caused Nickolas to go into shock. We immediately operated to repair his damaged lung and stop the bleeding, known to the fact that he was extremely weak, but we had no choice, we had to stop the bleeding and close up that lung... The entire situation caused his heart to stop in the operating room.”

Their eyes widened. An upset AJ pressed the oxygen mask tighter over his mouth and nose as he took in gulping breaths, his gasps more like wheezes. Howie reached over numbly, rubbing a hand in soothing circles against AJ’s back, careful of his shoulder. Slowly, AJ’s breathing slowed to more controlled heaves. Kevin rubbed his hand down his face, his mind attempting to take in the shocking information.

With a practiced eye observing AJ, Dr. Foster continued, “We were able to bring him back, but... it is unknown how he’ll recover from the trauma. Nickolas is unconscious, and will be that way for some time.” She hesitated, “There is a chance he may never wake. We’ll do what we can, but it’s entirely up to Nickolas. Now, all any of us can do is wait and pray for the best.” She paused and her eyes softened, “I’ll tell you straight off, the sooner Nickolas wakes, the better. He’s currently labeled as in critical condition.”

Kevin rubbed his eyes, his mind reeling, “God... ...Can- can we see him?”

Dr. Foster nodded, “I’ll let you see him for a few minutes, he’s in recovery at the moment. You can visit him until we have to move him to ICU.”

Howie looked up, his brown eyes luminescent, “Can he be roomed with Brian?” At the doctor’s confused expression, Howie elaborated, “Brian Littrell. He’s in ICU too, and they’re both of our friends.”

She pursed her lips, “We normally have single occupants only in ICU, but... I’ll see what I can do.” Dr. Foster stood, as did Kevin, Howie, and AJ. The latter rose from the chair with some difficulty, a wince pulling at his features beneath the clear mask. Dr. Foster pinned AJ with a knowing stare, “You, young man, should be in bed. Tell me, were you permitted to leave your room?” Her eyes looked him up and down, knowing he wouldn’t need to be admitted, but the young man needed rest. She could read it in his eyes and face.

AJ swallowed nervously and ducked his head as Howie and Kevin fixed their eyes on his form, his voice was strained as he spoke, “Uh, well... The EMT said I could go for a walk... He never said I had to come back.”

Howie rolled his eyes as Kevin frowned, his green eyes searching AJ’s face, “AJ, are you sayin’ you should be in a bed and not walking around? That you just left your room?”

AJ looked up through his eyelashes, his voice small, “Um... yeah, pretty much.”

“Then,” stated the doctor, “I suggest you return to your room. You are in no condition to be up and about so soon.”

“I wanna see my friends,” AJ glared, his dark eyes flashing, “I’m not going anywhere near my room until I see them. I have to see them, I have to.”

“AJ-” Kevin started, but was cut off.

“No, Kevin,” AJ shook his head. He turned his eyes to Kevin, their dark depths now glazed in pleading, “Please, Kev. I have to see them. Please...”

Kevin held the imploring gaze, the look so foreign on the face looking back at him, “All right, AJ. You can see them, but I want you in bed as soon as possible. I already have two friends in here, I don’t want more.”

AJ and Howie heard the slight quake in the eldest’s voice, the request--prayer--that no one else he loved would be hurt. AJ nodded his head, “Deal, Kev. C’mon, let’s go see Nick.”

Dr. Foster was touched by the obvious connection between the three men before her and the young man that was her patient. She smiled at them warmly and helped AJ with his oxygen tank, the young man was tiring. They walked out of the waiting room and down the hall, past several rooms before they turned into a corridor and pushed through wide swinging doors and into recovery.

Making sure AJ could manage on his own, Dr. Foster turned to them, a curtain behind her, “Now, Nickolas is hooked up to quite a lot of support and monitoring machines, so don’t be too startled. We also have him on a ventilator until his lung heals enough to work on its own.” She turned around and grasped the curtain, pausing, “I’ll ask you to keep it low key, I don’t want him to experience too much too soon, unconscious or not.” With that, Dr. Foster swung open the curtain and stepped quietly from the room.

“Oh, Jesus...” Kevin didn’t even realize the words escaped his lips, his green eyes fixed on the unmoving form before him.

The alarmingly pale figure stretching the length of the gurney was silent and still, save for the continuous beeping of the heart monitor and the reassuring whisper of the ventilator that sounded with every rise and fall of Nick’s chest. A beige blanket covered Nick’s form to just below his shoulders, his arms resting on top of the material along his sides and tucking the blanket snugly about his frame. The thin, papery hospital gown was sleeveless and revealed to Kevin, AJ, and Howie’s eyes the white bandages tightly encompassing Nick’s chest and shoulder, one forearm similarly wrapped with an IV trailing from his hand. Nick’s lax face was a waxy pale, a clear glaze of sweat emphasizing the colorless skin save for rouge colored fever spots on his cheeks and dark shadows below his closed eyes. A clear tube came from the corner of a mouth whose normally rosy lips were now the palest pink, the plastic tube trailing away from Nick’s body and to the steadily working ventilator. Another white bandage encircled Nick’s head, a single width wrap that covered his forehead and circled above his ears. His now dull blond hair fell limply over his covered forehead, adding to the contrast of Nick’s pallor.

Howie approached the still form of his friend, his crutches clicking on the tiled floor. He stopped at Nick’s right side and leaned on his crutches’ support, sparing a glance at Kevin and AJ as they moved to Nick’s other side. He returned his wide brown eyes to his young friend before him and carefully reached out to take hold of the limp hand, “God, Nick... ...You-” he cleared his throat, “You’re gonna be okay. Y’hear that, Nick? You have to wake up and get better.” Howie gave the hand a squeeze, “We need you, buddy.”

AJ rested a hand on Nick’s blanket covered leg, partly to physically touch his friend and partly to keep from falling on his face. He was just so tired. He raised his other arm from the sling with a wince, pulling the mask from his face to hang loosely around his neck, his voice a husky raw whisper when he spoke, “That’s right, Kaos. You need to come back to us, man. What would we do for fun without you, huh? Ya keep life interestin’ with all those pranks you pull. An’ don’t you forget Brian. He’s okay and you’ll be with him soon,” AJ wheezed as he took in a deep breath, his eyes watching Nick’s face for the slightest indication that he was about to wake, “but ya gotta wake up and show him that yer gonna be okay, too. You know how he worries ‘bout ya... C’mon, Nick. Wake up for us.”

Nick remained silent. AJ ducked his head in despair, then suddenly turning away to cover a cough. Kevin reached a hesitant hand out to Nick’s face. He gently combed the dull blond hair from Nick’s pale forehead in a soft, continuous motion with his fingers. Holding his injured arm to his stomach, Kevin let his shining green eyes fix on Nick’s closed eyes, the dark lashes a soft crescent shape that kissed the pale cheeks. Kevin’s eyebrows rose as he held back tears, his lips parting to take in a heavy breath. He continued his gentle touch as he spoke in a low tone, “Nick... This is all over, everything is over with. So, you gotta be okay now... Lalita’s gone. We’re gonna be all right now, but you gotta wake up... C’mon, Nicky. Please-” Kevin trailed off, his mind forgetting the other two occupants in the room with him. He only focussed on Nick’s pale face, “I’ve watched you grow up, I-I’m your friend... but... ...you’re almost like a son to me...” Kevin had to work past the suffocating lump in his throat, “So, you just gotta wake up. C’mon, Nick. Wake up... You have to be okay, Nicky... Please...”

Howie watched in solemn silence as the tears finally fell down Kevin’s face when Nick failed to respond, remaining still. He had always wondered about how Kevin seemed to treat the youngest in their group. Kevin had been--still is--more of a disciplinary person with Nick than with the rest of them, even AJ, who was only a couple years older than Nick and more outwardly rebellious. With Nick having been so young when they had started the Backstreet Boys, the young blond had had a vulnerability about him that you just kinda latched onto. When Nick grew into a young man, he had seemed to lose that trait and had become more confidant, but you would still sometimes see that familiar insecure kid in the darting blue eyes. He was still there.

AJ stepped back from the bed and stared at his young friend. He hated seeing Nick like this, so sick, so frail, so... lifeless. Placing the mask back over his nose and mouth, AJ shook his head and took in a deep breath. Who would have ever thought one of them--two of them, would be in the hospital because they were shot.

Shot.

That wasn’t supposed to happen to them, none of what they went through the past two days was supposed to happen to them. Hell, what happened to them a year ago wasn’t supposed to happen to them. It just wasn’t. They were supposed to be happy and healthy and not be stalked by a mad woman. It was nuts. Now, all AJ wanted was his friends back. Wanted them well, healthy and not stuck in a hospital. Nick... Nick might... No, he would be fine. They all would be fine because they would get through it. AJ knew they could, because... they just had to. He didn’t know what he’d do without them. Besides his mother, he didn’t really have anybody else... he just didn’t have any other friends like these guys. He had grown up with them.

“Excuse me.”

AJ jumped slightly and Howie and Kevin looked up sharply, all abruptly taken from their thoughts at the voice. Dr. Foster smiled warmly, trying to extricate the young men from their friend in a kind way, “I’m sorry, but you must leave. We have to prep Nickolas to be moved to ICU. And yes,” she answered the question in Howie’s eyes, “I managed to arrange it so Nickolas will be roomed with Mr. Littrell. Now, if you’ll excuse us?”

Silently, Kevin and the others started to leave the room, finding it hard to tear their eyes away from Nick’s face. They wanted to see something, anything, to show that he would wake up. Kevin paused at Dr. Foster’s side, “Can you tell us what room Brian’s in? So we can go see him?”

She nodded, “He’s in room 139, this floor.”

Kevin smiled slightly, “Thanks.” He and the others stepped out of the room, leaving with Nick their prayers asking that he’d be okay.

Standing in the hall, the three looked lost as people passed them by. Kevin wiped his face, extinguishing the wetness his tears had left. He looked at AJ and Howie, “I-I guess we should see Brian before they take Nick in with him... We gotta tell him... about Nick...”

“But,” interrupted Howie, “The doctor said we could only see him one at a time.”

AJ leaned on his oxygen tank for support, quirking an eyebrow at Howie, “What’re they gonna do? Throw us out? ...I don’t care what they say, we’re all gonna see him.”

Kevin bit his lip, but nodded. He didn’t want to go against the hospital’s criteria, but would when it came to his friends. Kevin also saw AJ slowly tiring, he wondered how long it would be until the rebel simply collapsed from exhaustion. He shook his head, he wouldn’t let him get that far. Kevin stepped up to AJ’s side and, without a word, took his arm and oxygen tank to help him keep his feet as they walked to Brian’s room. Howie limped behind them on his crutches, his leg beginning to throb.

Kevin stopped before a door and stared at the bold number 139, not able to push himself to cross the threshold. He couldn’t just walk in there, see his cousin lying in a hospital bed, having barely survived being shot, and tell him his best friend could... Kevin shut his eyes... die. How could he possibly do that?

AJ saw the reluctance on Kevin’s features and gripped the tall man’s arm, “C’mon, Kev. Ya know we gotta do this. He has to know before they wheel the kid in there, so we gotta tell him now... C’mon,” AJ held the unsteady green eyes that locked with his deep browns, “open the door, Kev.”

Kevin let out a short breath and nodded, pausing slightly before pushing against the door. It swung open and they all entered, stopping at the sight of Brian’s immobile form sprawled on a sterile white hospital bed. He was propped up, his head turned slightly away from them. His right arm laid limply at his side while the other hugged around his chest, strapped there by pale bandages, an IV leading from his right hand. His sandy blond hair appeared dark brown on the white pillows, the dark strands accentuating the dark circles under his closed eyes. Brian’s skin still retained some color, but the white sheets and pillows numbed his essence to appear pale.

AJ moved around Kevin’s solemn stance and went to Brian’s right side, his eyes never leaving the steadily moving chest. He glanced up as Howie appeared at Brian’s other side, but quickly brought his eyes back to Brian. He reached out with his only free hand and gently gripped Brian’s hand, careful of the IV, “Hey, Brian.” He gave the hand a squeeze, “Bri’, you in there, bud? C’mon, wake up.”

A breathy moan parted Brian’s lips and his head rolled toward AJ. AJ smiled, “Yeah, that’s it. Wake up, Brian. Ya got company.”

Brian frowned and his brow furrowed as his eyelids fluttered, trying to wake. Finally, Brian cracked his eyes open and he squinted groggily up at AJ’s oxygen masked face, the tired dark eyes smiling down at him. “AJ?” he croaked, his throat dry.

Howie looked behind him and found a pitcher of water and a glass. He reached for it and after filling the glass half full, turned back to Brian, “Here, Brian. Drink this.”

Brian blinked and looked at Howie, his eyebrows rose, “Howie?”

“Yeah,” smiled Howie, swaying slightly as he leaned on his crutches, “it’s me. Now, here. Drink.”

His blue eyes clearing somewhat, Brian did as was told, the water soothing his dry throat. Howie put the glass down when he finished. Brian looked at the figure at the doorway of his room, “Kevin?”

Slightly hesitant, Kevin walked to the end of Brian’s bed, “Yeah, Brian. I’m here, too.”

Brian frowned and looked around at the strangely silent group, his voice matter of fact, “You guys look like hell.”

Howie and AJ laughed slightly, even Kevin cracked a grin. AJ rubbed his thumb over the back of the hand he still grasped, “Yeah, well, we look a good sight better than you, bro’. How you feelin’?”

Brian shifted and winced, looking up at AJ, “Ouch.”

Howie smiled up at AJ, “Guess that answers yer question, Bone.”

Brian grinned, the pain that circled his chest and emanated from his shoulder distant, detached. He knew it had to be drugs. He looked about the room and then looked at AJ, blue eyes suddenly fearful as what had happened to put him the hospital flooded his mind, “Nick?”

The smile left AJ’s face and his eyes looked to Kevin, who appeared uncomfortable as Brian’s unknowing yet apprehensive blue eyes turned to him at AJ’s silence. Brian’s brow furrowed at the continued heavy silence and he soon became agitated, attempting to push himself up and gasping at the pain that flared. He fell back to the pillows and let his scared eyes boar into Kevin’s, “Kev? Wha-what’s wrong with Nick?”

Kevin shifted his feet and fingered the cast on his arm, his eyes darting to Howie. Brian looked around at each of them in turn, his stomach turning at the horrible possibilities flashing through his mind about his best friend. His heart sped up and the monitor’s beeping quickened at his agitation, “What- ...Oh, God. He’s not...”

“No!” cried AJ quickly, returning Brian’s now fierce grip on his hand, “He’s alive.”

Brian sagged back in relief, but his features remained fearful, “Then... What is it? I know h-he...” Brian glanced away, his features blanching in memory, “He wasn’t good at the stadium, but...” Brian’s shining blue eyes landed on Kevin, “Please, just tell me. Please...”

Kevin sighed and lowered his eyes, slowly bringing them back to Brian’s face, “Nick... Nick is...” Kevin shut his eyes briefly. C’mon, just say it. Kevin now held his cousin’s eyes, “Brian, Nick’s not doin’ so good.” Kevin rubbed his forehead, his eyes darting away, “They aren’t sure he’s gonna make it.”

Brian stared at Kevin, not entirely sure he understood the words. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, not sure what to say. Tears pricked his eyes and he again tried to speak, this time succeeding, “Kevin... Are you sayin’ that Nick... that Nick might... die?”

Green eyes shining, Kevin simply nodded. Brian felt his eyes fill with stinging tears as he looked to first AJ’s downcast face, then Howie’s. His vision blurred and he blinked, tear drops falling from his anguished eyes. His shook his head, his voice tearful and begging, “No... No! H-he can’t die! ...No...” Brian’s eyes begged up at Kevin, “Please, Kev... He can’t... He just can’t...” Brian watched a single tear slide down Kevin’s face before the elder turned away, Brian looked frantically at AJ and Howie. He squeezed AJ’s hand hard, “He won’t die. He won’t.”

AJ turned his head away, not able to watch Brian, to look into the blue eyes that pleaded for some divine intervention. AJ glanced behind him and saw a chair. He hooked a leg of it with his foot and dragged it toward himself, gratefully sinking into its support as he continued to hold Brian’s now shaking hand.

Brian looked again at the solemn faces of his friends. They all thought that Nick could die. Brian couldn’t think of that possibility, not when... when... “Oh, God...” He gasped suddenly, tearing his hand from AJ’s grasp and using it to cover his eyes as the horrible images flashed through his mind. The gunshot’s long echo surrounded him and he flinched as he felt Nick slam into him. Brian pressed his hand harder against his eyes as he saw Nick’s lifeless face, his chest red with blood... Brian slammed his hand against the bed, eyes snapping open, “It’s my fault!”

Howie looked up quickly at the words, his brown eyes wide, “What? Nothing’s your fault, Brian.”

Brian lifted his hand to rake it through his limp hair, wincing as he touched the tender bruise behind his ear. He lifted his red rimmed eyes to Howie, “Yes, it is. Nick took that bullet for me, Howie. Lalita was going to kill me and... and he just jumped in front of it... He saved my life, ‘D. Now- Now he might die because of that... It’s my fault. I shoulda saw it coming and gotten myself out of the way. Then Nick would be fine and not... not...” He couldn’t finish, his hand dropping to his side. He lowered his blue eyes in guilt.

Howie and Kevin traded glances. They were afraid Brian would do this. AJ, meanwhile, looked shocked. He hadn’t known. AJ looked with wide eyes at Howie and Kevin, “Nick did that?” He whispered in disbelief.

Howie simply nodded, his attention on Brian. He reached forward and lifted Brian’s face to look at him, the blue eyes refusing to lift, “Brian, look at me. Please?” Brian reluctantly looked up into Howie’s eyes, “It’s not your fault. Nick... Nick did what he wanted to do, it was his choice. I think it was more instinct than anything else. He saw what was gonna happen and did the only thing he thought he could to stop it...” Howie tilted his head at Brian, “Would you have done any different if the roles were reversed?” Brian tried to turn away, but Howie held him back, “No, you’d of done the same thing, and you know it, Brian. The same as the rest of us. It... it was just Nick that saw it first.”

“He’s right, Bri’,” added AJ softly, reclaiming Brian’s hand. He hesitated only slightly before going on, ”Think about Alaska, man. That’s all ya need. We went through hell, but we made it ‘cause we looked out for each other. We saved each other’s butts a bunch of times, Brian.”

Brian looked at AJ, “Yeah, but none of us almost died, AJ. He- he could still...” Brian refused to say it.

“Listen, Brian,” voiced Kevin, his voice steady, “The doctor said that if-” Kevin closed his eyes at his slip, “when Nick wakes up, he should be out of the woods. He just has to wake up.”

“Just has to wake up,” mumbled Brian, his voice small. He felt his conviction that Nick would be okay melting away. What if Nick did die? He closed his eyes, then looked up at his friends, “Could- could you guys give me a minute alone?”

Howie glanced at Kevin, but nodded, “Sure. We’ll be just outside. We’ll come back in when they bring Nick in here.”

Brian looked up sharply, “They’re bringin’ him... here? This room?”

“Yeah,” toned Kevin, “We asked for you guys to be in the same room.”

Brian stared for a moment, then nodded. With a shared glance, Kevin, Howie, and AJ left the room. As the door closed behind his friends, Brian sighed and fell limp in his bed. He stared listlessly up at the ceiling.

“God, I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice strained. He frowned as his eyes crinkled, twinkling with a sheen of unshed tears, “Nick, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. It’s just... It’s all my fault!” A hoarse sob escaped Brian as he squeezed his eyes shut, guilt and self hatred filling his heart as he cried. The sobs shook his frame, and he gasped at the pain that sliced across his chest and shoulder, but he didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. He had done this to his best friend. Brian blinked his pained eyes open, staring at something only he could see, “If Nick doesn’t make it, it’s my fault. I would’ve killed him... me.”

With a heavy heart, Brian closed his eyes, his remaining tears sliding silently down his face. He didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. He was a horrible person. What kind of person gets his best friend killed? He didn’t want anything to do with anything anymore. Not Kevin. Not Howie. Not AJ. No one and no thing. All things he cared about got hurt around him and he refused to let it happen ever again. Never again. He didn’t think he would be able to take it, not if Nick...

Brian shut it out. He shut everything out. That way, he wouldn’t get hurt anymore, and he couldn’t hurt them... Brian took a deep, trembling breath. He forced himself to relax and soon fell into a deep, numbing sleep.

~/~/~/~/~( )~\~\~\~\~

AJ slumped heavily into the cushioned chair, a wince pulling at the deep brown eyes as his shoulder flared in pain. It was going to be a trial until his slashed shoulder would be healed, but he just had to suck it up and bare it until that time came. At the moment though, he could care less what he felt like. He looked up at Kevin and Howie, his eyes dark in worry, “Brian’s not takin’ it, is he.”

Kevin spared AJ a quick glance at the words, the question more like a statement of fact. He assisted Howie in taking a seat beside the waiting AJ, then seated himself on the other side of the rebel. He sat in silence for several moments before speaking, his voice soft, “No...” He shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead, “God, I don’t know what we’re gonna do if-... if Nick doesn’t make it. The way Brian’s thinkin’, he’ll blame himself for it all. I... I just don’t know what to do.”

Howie had stooped over to try and scratch under his cast, when his neck craned around at Kevin’s last words. He straightened, “We just have to be there for him... for each other. We have to keep tellin’ Brian it wasn’t his fault, too. He’s gotta understand that this was nobody’s fault, and there was no way any of us coulda stopped it from happening.” Howie’s lips turned into a twisted, sardonic smirk, “Call it a sick twist of fate.”

Kevin winced at the harsh description, then scowled, “Fate my ass. We are the only ones in control of how we live, we make our own choices.” Kevin’s hardened features then crumbled, his eyes looking away, “And Nick made his.”

AJ sighed, “Well, then we can’t make his choice in vain. We have to get through to Brian, have to make him understand. Nick would hate it if Brian blamed himself for all this.”

“Wait a minute,” spoke Howie, his voice clear, “Why’re you guys talkin’ like Nick’s already gone?” Howie’s jaw slowly dropped at the silent and downcast expressions that answered him, “You- you don’t think Nick’s gonna make it?”

Kevin’s voice was small, “We just don’t wanna rule out the chance that Nick might die, Howie. I can’t just go around with all this happenin’ like everything’s goin’ to be fine. We don’t know if it will... the worst can happen, ‘D. We’ve been hit by it before. My dad, your sister... It can happen, Howie.”

Howie was stunned, “But you can’t just give up on ‘im! Nick would never, NEVER, give up on us! He would believe in us, believe that we’d make it. It would be the least that we could do to respond in kind to him, he deserves our hope!”

AJ turned white with the accusations thrown at him and Kevin, “Howie!” He gasped, “We haven’t given up on Nick, that’s impossible. I’d never give up hope... I- I don’t want to lose him...”

Howie’s anger fell away at those last, whispered words. He sent Kevin a sorrowful glance, ashamed of his callous behavior. He moved a hand to grip AJ’s forearm, his eyes seeking forgiveness, “God, I’m sorry AJ. I- I didn’t mean that, I just... just jumped to my own conclusions. I just can’t stand all that’s happenin’... I’m so sorry.”

AJ just nodded, he was too tired to do anything else. Tired of the fear, of the waiting... just plain tired of it all. He leaned back in the chair, but immediately straightened at the pain the action caused.

Kevin locked eyes with Howie, conveying both forgiveness and a concern over AJ’s drooping form. Kevin returned his eyes to AJ, “I think it’s time for you to get back to your room, AJ. You’re zonked, man.”

AJ resolutely shook his head, “I’m stayin’.”

“AJ,” placated Howie, leaning forward to get a look at AJ’s downcast face, “Please, you have to rest. We don’t want you to get worse.”

AJ blinked his heavy eyelids, pursing his lips, “After they bring Nick, okay? Then I’ll rest.”

Howie and Kevin shared another glance, Kevin slowly nodded, “All right, ‘J. After Nick gets here, but that’s it. You’re gonna take it easy after that.”

It was ten minutes later that the foreboding sight of Nick’s still form being wheeled toward them appeared. They forced their stiff, exhausted forms to their feet, their worried eyes seeking the woman’s eyes as she stopped before them.

Dr. Foster dropped her eyes slightly, her voice a monotone, “No change.”

The three young men seemed to sag a bit more at the blunt words, their hopeful expressions falling into sadness. The door to the ICU room was pushed open and as Dr. Foster followed the stretcher inside, she placed a consoling hand on Kevin’s shoulder. The words she spoke were barely a whisper, “Don’t give up on him, he’s strong. He has to be with friends like you guys.”

Kevin gave her a half smile, his green eyes remaining sad. He then waited for Howie to enter the room after the doctor, his gaze fixed on AJ’s listing form. When the exhausted rebel stumbled, Kevin moved in without a word. He looped his good arm behind AJ’s back, mindful of his shoulder, and helped him into the room. He lead AJ to a chair between the two beds in the room, a frown turning his lips as AJ’s half hooded brown eyes fixated on Nick’s pale form. He didn’t know how they were going to get AJ to relax. AJ was worried sick and Kevin believed that was wearing on AJ more than the physical.

Dr. Foster looked to the other bedridden young man in the room and frowned. They had said his name was Brian. Brian. That was the name Nick had cried out the last brief time he was conscious. It was when he had entered the ER, the cry part of a fevered delirium. It was the last thing Nick had said before he had fallen unconscious for the last time. Dr. Foster’s gaze flitted over the other three men. She didn’t think they needed to know that, they already had too much weighing them down as it was. As the nurses finished getting Nick settled into his bed, Dr. Foster walked up to Kevin.

“You can all stay for a while longer,” she spoke softly, “Tell me immediately if there is any change.”

Kevin nodded numbly and she left the room, the nurses soon following. Kevin’s green eyes were glued to Nick’s still face. The only way the hospital was going to get him to leave the room was by brute force. Visiting hours be damned, he wasn’t leaving his friends.

As Howie awkwardly fell into a chair on the other side of Nick, propping his throbbing leg on the edge of the bed, Kevin let his eyes stray to Brian. His cousin was asleep, oblivious to the arrival of his best friend. Kevin hadn’t the heart to wake him, especially at the sight of the tear tracks on the flushed cheeks. Kevin turned his head to the ceiling, his eyes sliding shut. God, he hoped they’d get through this. He didn’t think any of them could make it alone.